by El Zorro Viejo (aka; Jim)

I find myself at another crossroads in my life. Actually, I think it is the same crossroads I have passed before: I must be traveling in circles. This particular crossroads has to do with my faith in a Supreme Being...you know, the prime cause uncaused--OK, God. I really want to believe that there is a reason for existence and that, when we shuffle off this mortal coil, there is a noncorporeal part of us that goes on. I want to believe in God, Heaven, Angels and all the rest, but it is hard.

I know, it is supposed to be hard. The rules of the game pretty much state that there will be no definitive proof about either the existence of God or of life after death. That's why it is called faith. My problem is that we make it harder than it has to be. Take the Old Testament of the Bible, for example. If there ever was a document that would drive me into the arms of Madilyn Murray (may her soul rest in peace) faster, I haven't come across it yet. The evil that the Bible pretty much boasts about that is done in the name of God is appalling: Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot's wife, the whole book of Job...and the litany goes on and on. Yet, in spite of all that, I still try to believe.

OK, this was just the start of a longer post about my relationship (or lack thereof) with God, but it disappeared into cyberspace when I attempted to send it. Perhaps I should take it as a sign and rethink what I was going to post. Besides, I couldn't rewrite what I had written if I tried. It was too hard the first time. So, let it suffice to say that I am in the middle of a crisis of faith and I'm not sure which way I'll come through it. *sigh*

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License. ©El Zorro Viejo 2002-2005